wat bout pragnant strippers??
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
