I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
