HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
