My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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