woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
