Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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