just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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