Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
