just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
