I just saw a hot homeless man
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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