i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
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I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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