a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize