dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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