Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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