you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
