If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
