You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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