Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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