nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize