put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
