im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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