you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize