what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
