If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
