I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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