i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
