Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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