You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
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