We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize