I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
