He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
