she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
