The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize