i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize