i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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