I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
