Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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