mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize