She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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