Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
