I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i believe in u and ur pee
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize