"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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