He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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