You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
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He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend