My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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