I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
