Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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