drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
