What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
