can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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