I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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