great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
if only i could text you this smell
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
