morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
