she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize