I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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