Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
