nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
