he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
