Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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